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The adventure of Pilosopong Mamay, Puff Dado and Father Dick Dimakatudnih. New episode every Monday!!

Filipino Jokes

Dad: Mabait ba ang boyfriend mo?
Anak: Yes, Daddy.
Daddy: Maka-Diyos?
Anak: Sobra Dad.
Daddy: Nasaan siya?
Anak: Nandoon sa simbahan, nagmimisa!
Wife: Maghiwalay na tayo!
Husband: Ok,akin ang bahay!
Wife: Akin ang farm!
Husband: Akin ang kotse!
Wife: Ah! Pero, akin driver!
Husband: Pwes! Magkakamatayan tayo, MATAGAL NA SIYANG AKIN!
**Pick Up** "Hello?" 
"Hi honey, this is Daddy, Is Mommy near the phone?" 
"No Daddy, She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank" 
After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Frank" 
"Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now" 
Brief Pause 
"Uh, okay then, ...this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door, and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway" 
"Okay Daddy, just a minute" 
A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone. 
"I did it Daddy" 
"And what happened honey?" he asked 
"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!" 
"Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Frank?" 
"He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it, he hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead" 
***Long Pause*** 
***Longer Pause*** 
Then Daddy says, 

"Swimming pool??...Is this 555-7039?? 

Juan: Pare, noong mayaman pa kami, nagkakamay kaming kumain. Ngayong mahirap na kami, nakakutsara na.
Pedro: Baligtad yata?
Juan: Mahirap kamayin ang lugaw, pare!

Husband: Parati na lang tayo away. Maghiwalay na lang tayo!
Wife: Sigi, maghati tayo ng mga anak.
Husband: Akin ang mga guwapo at maganda.
Wife: Sus! Pinili pa yung hindi sa kanya!

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Filipino comedian Tim Tayag does Standup on Sweet Life
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